Oct 17, 1980 Uncategorized
Season 1, Episode 1, Aired Oct 17, 1980
EP 1 In the first episode, sketches include parents dealing with a problem child, Super Dave performs his first stunt, a sketch involving stereotypes and a visit to a football training camp headed by George Allen.
Bob Einstein-Super Dave Osborne
Tom Harvey-Various Characters
John Byner-Host
Guests
Pat Morita – Prisoner
Kate Lynch – Various Characters
George Allen – Football Coach
Mike Walden – Commentator
Maurice Abraham – Director
Perry Rosemond – Producer
Allan Blye – Executive Producer
Bob Einstein – Executive Producer
Geoff Craigen = Editor
Richard Allen (II) -Set Decorator
Leslie Haynes – Makeup Artist
Gary Chowen – Hairstylist
Stephanie Chaffin – Assistant to the Producer
Virginia Kavangh – Production Associate
Garry Blye – Production Consultant
The episode opens with a number of phone operators talking to television viewers about what show they are watching. Suddenly, one shouts out that they finally have one person watching Bizarre and they can start the show now.
After the opening credits, the first sketch shows a couple worrying about their nine year old son Billy sent home from school for a fourth time from school for behavioural problems. Billy talks with his father and says he’s the same at school as he is at home even as he lights a cigarette, asks for a glass of bourbon and curses. A few moments later, the door bell rings and young Melissa arrives to tell Billy to come home or she’s divorcing him. Billy leaves with Melissa and says he’s heading to the race track and his mother gives him a bottle of bourbon to keep him warm.
In the next sketch, John throws it to Stockholm, Sweden where Mike Walden tells the audience that Super Dave Osborne is getting ready for his stunt. Super Dave tells Mike Walden says he’s doing the stunt for the challenge and the money and climbs into a special car that cost his sponsor three hundred thousand dollars. After Mike steps away, a large metal claw usually seen in a junkyard swoops down, grabs the car, lifts it in the air and drops it in a crusher with Super Dave talking the entire time via a special microphone. Moments later, the car is crushed into a metal cube and Super Dave yells in pain. When the cube emerges and placed next to Mike, Super Dave indicates he is all right and will buy Mike a beer as soon as he gets out of the cube.
Next, a sketch is introduced by a woman saying that what you see isn’t necessarily true. In the sketch, two policemen that look to be from the South put a Japanese man in a jail cell. However, the cops dialogue indicate they are Irish and British in reality and the prisoner’s language indicates he is Jewish. Moments later, a black man dressed like a pimp enters and the police indicate he is the public defender but the lawyer, speaking with an Italian accent, says he’s actually a woman. As the sketch draws to a close, a dog lying on the floor stands up and meows.
In the next segment, the song You Don’t Bring Me Flowers is heard playing with a photo of Pierre Elliott Trudeau (who was Prime Minister of Canada at the time) and his estranged wife Margaret on the screen and two sets of lips lip synching the song.
Next, the show goes to a training camp run by former professional football coach George Allen, who has a reputation for running physically tough camps. A reporter, Tom Harmon, asks the coach to demonstrate his new neck exercise and why some players dislike it. The coach summons a player named Jablonski over and asks him to get in the pit. Jablonski protests that he just did two thousand push-ups on broken glass but gets in a nearby pit that looks about six feet deep. A few moments later, a player runs and kicks Jablonski’s head off his body and it lands some distance away. The coach tells Jablonski he’s got thirty seconds to get his head back and the headless player jumps out of the pit and runs downfield where he joins several other headless players in searching. Seconds later, the player puts a head on but it is the wrong one and he tosses it off and resumes searching.
In the next sketch, the Animal Healing Hour is started from the Calgary Veterinary Cathedral and hosted by Doctor Enzlo Veal. Dr. Veal asks that all sick animals at home should be gathered around the television and they will be healed. Doctor Veal relates how he cured a parrot of its stuttering and its owner stuttered her thanks. People start bringing up animals to be healed with a woman holding her sick cat first but the Doctor says he’s not a vet and tells her to go away. Next, a man brings up his pet turtle Biff that he says hasn’t come out of his shell in four days. Dr. Veal holds the turtle in his hands and after squeezing tightly, he peeks and says the turtle is out now.
John closes the episode by saying good night before a shot rings out. John slumps to the floor as an announcer asks the audience to tune in next week to find out ” Who Shot J.B. ? “.